Management Tips

#1: Don’t be an a**hole. Sounds simple, but so often, managers forget that they should act like a decent human being with all that entails. Integrity. Authenticity. Empathy. Fairness. Being busy, or having a twit boss of your own does not excuse you.

#2: Listen. What do your team members actually think, feel, want? If you don’t not only ask but actively listen, you can’t possibly know and you will not only get it wrong, but you will miss out on good stuff for the business too. And ask them how YOU are doing as a boss, they may not tell you, but if you don’t ask them you will have no clue.

#3: Not everyone is like you….and that is a good thing! Hire, develop, celebrate, a team that truly compliments each other and does so because they are are not the same as either you, or each other. Don’t hire in your own image or you will end up disappointed. And on the topic of diversity, don’t be the twit who assumes everyone loves x sport and wants to talk endlessly about last night’s game -some of your team likely hate sport and just feel left out when you insist upon this topic. Similarly, don’t assume you are all going to bond over alcohol.

#4: Sweat the small stuff: just because you are crazy busy does not give you license to miss the small stuff. Did you put flowers on a desk for a birthday or work anniversary? Did you write a heart-felt thank you card at the Holidays ? Did you take time to remember your team’s spouse or children’s names? Do you know their hobbies? Did you buy a cake flavor you know they love?

#5:  Never miss a chance to say thank you: Acknowledge and thank, especially when you have asked for something extra but also, very importantly,  for the everyday.

#6: Give continuous feedback: make sure you are present and can take note of what goes well or doesn’t go well. Be ready with constructive feedback…remind team members of what they should keep doing or do more of, as well as tips for improving. And while on the subject, make sure you know how each team member best receives feedback-we are all different.

#7: Be honest, not disingenuous: When you are asked a question, try to provide an honest answer even if the answer won't be popular. (There will be times when your company ask you not to share some information and it's far better to acknowledge that you can't share than to make something up).

#8: Encourage growth: As people managers, it's our responsibility to seek out growth opportunities for our teams as a whole and as individuals. This sometimes means letting a team member move on to another team or company. Encourage that growth.

#9: Help not hinder. Get good at knowing when to jump in and support/direct, and when to get out of the way.

#10: Be your team's champion and challenger. This means advocating for them, celebrating their successes, and also pushing them to do more/go to new places. And very importantly protect them from harm.

Real life stories to underscore each lesson:

#1: After my mum died in her 90’s, it left my Dad alone and incredibly sad. He became more confused, and lost all sense of joy and purpose. I knew that even though he was 3,000 miles away, and even though work was insanely busy, I needed to see him more often. Trouble was, I didn’t have much PTO and I really couldn’t afford those long trips without being paid. A Manager I had at the time, simply said this: “take the time you need and don’t worry about putting it in the system-it is family first”. What a gift!

 In return, I figured out how I could work a couple of days while I was traveling so as not to let anyone down, but I also was able to spend some truly meaningful time with my father without worrying about money. This was a manager remembering to act with decency and empathy. He didn’t worry about what HR would say, he just took care of me. When my Dad died, I didn’t feel guilty because I knew I had made the effort to see him and spend that quality time but it was my manager that made that so feasible.

#2: Listening also entails asking & clarifying, and not assuming.   One tip a colleague gave me long ago was to ask at every ‘touch base’, what number your direct report was on a happiness scale of 1-10. Remarkably illuminating, because the obvious follow up question (thank you Marty Nemko for this one), is if it’s not a 10/10, but perhaps, a 8/10, what would need to change to make it a 10? I remember asking a bunch of team members this question at a point when I expected most of them to say 2/10 or at best 5/10. The company had laid some folk off, and work was heavy, and no one seemed that upbeat. Super interesting to see that some people were 8/10 because for them, things looked pretty bright. Never assume. I remember asking one direct report for their ‘happiness score’ and it turned out to be really low because the anniversary of their mother’s death was coming up. The mom in question had died overseas without her daughter being able to get to her in time -this made the death anniversary painful and poignant. Asking allowed me to offer up some empathy and to make sure this individual could take time off to grieve in the way she needed to do. If you don’t ask, you can’t know.

#3: At one company I worked at, a new leader came in who thought we should all do some ‘bonding’. I love it when that happens because some poor exec assistant  inevitably gets tasked with finding out what ‘fun’ activities we could all do that fit within the HR budget, and seem like a good idea to the said new leader. In this case, the consensus was that we should all go into San Francisco and do a treasure hunt. I remember we arrived at some venue where we were divided into teams that consisted of people from different functional areas…very important that we got mixed up and didn’t just stay with the colleagues we already knew. Once the rules of engagement were explained, we were all told to try and ‘win’ the game by finding the most clues, games/tasks and answers in a given time frame. My team consisted mainly of people I didn’t know very well so score a point for mixing us up. Inevitably, it was just seconds before a type A person was giving directions and trying to get us to all charge off in a certain direction. I don’t remember all of the ‘tasks’ anymore but they consisted of quite a lot of extrovert behavior being required. For example, at one point my team was meant to  create and perform a dance in a public area and get someone to applaud (we went with a Michael Jackson song I recall). Why I picked this memory is that there was one moment when some team members had to try and recreate a famous painting by borrowing props from strangers if necessary and playing around with clothing, hair styles etc. While a couple of the more creative members of the team got stuck into recreating American Gothic, a woman who was a copywriter with the company, sat silently and alone on some stone stairs. I sat down next to her and tried to encourage her to join in and she told me she actually just wanted to go home because this sort of activity (the entire ‘fun’ activity) was incredibly painful and she was hating every minute of it. What a light bulb moment! Just because most of the invitees were getting engaged and in many cases having some fun, did not mean this ‘fun’ was ‘fun’ for everyone. In fact, it was torturing one introspective, quiet person who would probably rather have died than dress up as a famous painting and have strangers gawking at her.

#4: I remember someone I dearly loved, resigning from my team for family reasons following the birth of her son. I did all the usual things a manager does when they don’t want to lose a valuable member of their team -tried to offer up alternate work schedule, working from home, etc etc but it wasn’t a match for what this person needed in their life and I had to respect that.  During the course of her leaving, this person took the time to tell me why they loved me as a manager -obviously we are all extremely flattered if we have done an even half way decent job of managing so I was no exception. This person told me they remembered their first day and how there was a welcome card and a bunch of flowers on the desk. They remembered their first work anniversary where I had found a little bag in a local street market that I just felt they would like and given them that, or the time when I had taken the blame publicly for an error she had made, instead of shaming her. It was these small things that she remembered and treasured. When she told me, I realized I had fallen off the wagon a bit since her hire and was not making the same effort with each team member as the team got bigger. What a lesson!

#5 & #6: At one of my companies, a new hire exec, instituted a sort of ‘thank you Friday’. It wasn’t that she didn’t say thank you on other days, but she created a ritual where she asked all her direct reports to tell her what cool accomplishments had occurred and made sure they identified the names of all the key contributors. These names would get called out in the Friday 'thank you' but most importantly, the names were accurately attached to key accomplishments. This ritual served as a reminder for managers to publicly acknowledge contributions and accomplishments. But….what is equally important is to acknowledge the efforts and ‘stuff’ that might not be big enough to make it into the weekly round up. Be grateful for the direct repot that covered a meeting for you when you were double booked, or fielded an email on the weekend or after hours, or had a stab at presenting but didn’t do it well this time, or….etc etc. And SAY you are grateful at the time.

#7: Too many examples but I'll pick one that stands out. I worked at a company undergoing a major restructure. A brand new CEO was hired and it was as if all the workers had been pieces on a chess board sitting on squares they were familiar with and someone just kicked the board into the air and all the pieces landed in random places. No one really knew what was going on and the work environment was pretty chaotic. As the dust settled, I was asked to take on a role that was much narrower in scope and far less exciting to me than the one I'd previously held -I could do the job sitting on my hands, but was it going to lead anywhere? I didn't like my new chess square. I went to talk to one of the senior leaders to ask them what my chances might be of moving teams/roles and this person pretty much flat out lied and told me they were good, everything was great!  I was fortunate enough to know someone I trusted in HR and because they were a good person, they told me straight that there was no new chess square for me. This honesty allowed me to stop holding on to false hope and instead I sought out my next job which had plenty of runway for growth.

#8: On the topic of growth. I once had a boss for about a milli-second who told me it wasn't. his job to help his people grow-his job was just to work on data quality. I was stunned! I told him I 100% disagreed with him and quickly accepted a job in a new team -to his credit, he didn't bat an eyelid when I told him.

One of the hardest lessons as a people manager is to know when to let someone go. I remember a time when one particularly amazing rockstar told me they were going to take another job. It couldn't have been worse timing! We were in the midst of a big re-organization in desperate need of this individual's talents/skill set, it seemed like awful news. Although I did explore options to see if this person would be willing to stay, it was clear they were ready for something new -their growth was going to be far faster/exciting at a new company. It was important to support them in their decision and just like it's hard for a parent to see their kid leave home and go to University, a manager has to put the needs of their people first. It sucked for me that this person left when they did, but it was such a great move for that person and I totally encouraged the move.

#9: Help not hinder. You are not going to know what is helpful unless you ask. I remember once trying to help my team prep for a big presentation. I thought it would be a good idea to mark up the presentation with any typos I spotted, or any 'opportunities'. My team had to tell me that this was NOT helping -in fact, it was totally stressing them out because they were still working through things -they felt it was micro-managing. I duly backed off and negotiated with my team about what they needed/when instead of assuming.

#10: Champion: I remember early in my career being rather baffled when a new colleague went out of her way to reference each member of her own team, and connect the dots to their specific contributions. If I'm honest, I found it a bit annoying -wasn't SHE doing any work? Why did she always insist on talking up HER team?

What I now think this person was actually doing was taking every opportunity to showcase the members of her team and to ensure that others in the company would never doubt what Aditi or Simon or Mei or Vijay were contributing. In short: she championed them and her team appreciated that public support for their efforts. In these actions, this manager had both improved morale in her team and also increased visibility for her team. 

Challenger: One boss early in my career gave me a stretch goal. It was quite a scary one. I was asked to find enough brand new products/categories to fill an entire 2 page spread in a catalog (this was prior to ecommerce!). I didn't really have a clue yet my manager wanted to push me and see what I could come up with. This particular manager challenged me to be better than I thought I could be and as a result, I did (with some manager help) succeed in merchandising a brand new spread of utility room furnishings. Although the spread didn't do well -I learned a TON. I was pushed outside my comfort zone.